uposting makes your junk bigger.

upost an excerpt from the most compelling piece of spam email you have received recently.

Just before he iposted, he dreamed of uposting

upost a euphemism for sex or death. Use it in a sentence.

Thanks to Lisa S. for this ipost.

Descartes rhymes with fart: Cogito ergo ipost.

Fill in the blanks:

I _______________. Therefore, I _______________.

I took one tab and washed my jeans in the rest of it.

What happened the last time you were on acid?

Pass this ipost on to your friends who like making up insane stories.

This one's for Curt K.

Rip-Off Wednesday #12: M*A*S*H for kids!

Today we will rip off the children's fortune telling game known as MASH. There are two options for playing, either follow the really complicated instructions below or just play an online version and post your results.

The goal of MASH is to guess the player's future through a game of chance. It is played by at least two people: the player and the fortune teller.

Being the Player
The player will post a list of things s/he wants in the future, choosing two things for each category. "MASH," which is an acronym for Mansion Apartment Shack House, is always at the top of the list and acts as the options for dwelling. The other categories are as follows:

MASH

Spouse
1.
2.

Automobile
1.
2.

# of kids
1.
2.

Job
1.
2.

Pet
1.
2.

Being the Fortune Teller
The fortune teller (if you have never played MASH before, being the fortune teller may be confusing...if you're not totally lost already) will choose a 3rd option (usually something absolutely horrible) for each category and add it to the list. The fortune teller will then find his/her magic number by adding the digits of his/her birthdate together, eg. if you were born on the 5th of the month, your digits are 05 (0 + 5 = 5). Your magic number is 5. If your magic number is 1, add the last digit of your birth year to it. The fortune teller uses the magic number to eliminate the player's choices via the method espoused in the Wikipedia entry. The fortune teller then posts the results of the player's fortune.

Please see the comments section for an example. The fortune teller need only post the results of the game.

She also walked like a T-Rex

This past weekend, ipost | upost heard about a woman who walked down the aisle at her wedding to the theme from Jurassic Park. Please post some songs you would like played at various parts of your own wedding.

Do the Monster Mashup! It was a graveyaAHHH! My brains just got eated.

If you were a monster, what would be your tell-tale monstrous traits? Who would you choose as your first victim?

Bonus points: upost appropriate monster names for other people's monsters.

Godspeed, Mr. Rauschenberg

In honor of Robert Rauschenberg, we are going to create combines, an art form for which he is famous. However, instead of making ours out of paint and sculpture, we will describe our objects with words.

How to create an ipost | upost combine:
1) Look around the space you are in and choose several objects you find there.
2) upost a comment describing a way of combining those objects into a cohesive work.
3) Title your combine.

Alternatively, you may add an object from your space to someone else's combine and/or alter the titles.

Rip-Off Wednesday #11: Lexiconstruction

Today we will be playing a bastardized version of the dictionary game.

Please make up a word and post it. Others will post their made-up definitions for your word.

This ipost is an interactive redux of New Slang.

Mix & Match Ads, Hee-Hee!

Choose an advertising icon and then imagine if that icon advertised another product. Bonus points if you give the character a new more fitting name.

eg. The Pillsbury Doughboy + Hair Products = The Pillsbury 'Froboy

A Cuddly G-Rated Monday

Please post a song title or lyric about love or sex and replace the word "love" or any term for sex with "hug."

Thanks to Rebecca B for the ipost.

Pick the wrong song and you'll get the rotten tomatoes.

As the closing credits begin to roll at the end of the movie of your life, the audience sees you riding off into the distance. What are you riding on/in? What is on the horizon? And what song is playing in the background?

Thanks to Shyla for the ipost.

The City that Never Sweeps

Q. Do you know why Philadelphia is known as the City of Brotherly Love?
A. Because somebody with a healthy sense of irony made up that name.

Please post made-up nicknames or mottoes for cities that you've experienced first-hand.

Rip-Off Wednesday #10: Married to the NYSea

On Rip-Off Wednesdays, I steal someone else's idea and translate it into an ipost.

Today, we will rip off two awesome things: Married to the Sea and The New Yorker's caption writing contest.

You have options:
1) Post a caption/conversation relating to one of the clip art images below in the comments section (reference whether you're writing about A, B, or C).
2) Email your own clip art image with a caption/conversation printed on it to ipostupost (@) gmail (dot) com.

A.


B.


C.


* * *

Homemade clip art captions:


Posted by Jordan



Posted by Lindsay H



Posted by Michael Buchino.

Take 2 and call me in the...just call me...please.

Happy Seis de Mayo! I bet your head hurts from yesterday.

Please post a hangover remedy you swear by. Don't have any? Make one up.


PS. ipost, minus 2 for the dangling preposition.

Not just for some, but for everyone!

Burt Bacharach and Hal David wrote a song featuring the lines:

What the world needs now is love, sweet love
It's the only thing that there's just too little of...

Is there anything else of which there is just too little?


PS. Hal David, minus two points for the dangling preposition.
PPS. Click here for Mad Libs Mondays.

ipost | upost is kind of a big deal

The metro, "the world's largest global newspaper," featured ipost | upost in their "Blogarithms: A look at the best of the blogs" column on Cinco de Mayo, 2008 in Boston, New York City, and Philadelphia.


Thank you, metro! We here at ipost | upost greatly appreciate the nod. Here is the ipost about which the metro writes.

Mad Libs Mondays make babies cry...I mean, sleep

This one has a lot of blanks, but I think it will be a classic!

In order to complete this mad lib, fill in the spaces and click "Create Story." In some places, you will have to repeat the same word. For instance, you should put the same plural noun in every time you see "Plural Noun 1." If blanks do not have a number, a different word should be used each time. If there is an "@" sign, use the same word as in the blank before. Post your completed story as a comment.

Scroll down to find the forms.

Number
Small Currency
Plural Noun 4
Number
Number
Adjective 1
Plural Noun 1
Past Tense Verb
Food That Rhymes With Plural Noun 4
@food That Rhymes With Plural Noun 4
Plural Noun 1
Verb 1
Adjective
Person Or Profession That Rhymes With Verb 1
@person Or Profession That Rhymes With Verb 1
Verb + Ing
@verb + Ing
Plural Noun 2
Person Or Profession
Room
Food
Food That Rhymes With Plural Noun 2
Person Or Profession
Plural Noun 3
Adjective 1
Plural Noun 1
Past Tense Verb
Body Part That Rhymes With Plural Noun 3

Get your head in the gutter

Please post a line or sentence from any book/song/movie/thing that sounds dirty when taken out of context.

Hint: Open up any book to any page and you'll probably find something.
Bigger Hint: Pick your favorite one from here.

Thanks to Lisa S. for the ipost suggestion.

This sky ate my dog.

Please post a phrase or sentence in which you personify one of the skies from yesterday. Others should reply with guesses as to which sky is being personified in each upost.