Old School Celebrity Death Match

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Old School Celebrity Death Match

Who would win in a no-rules fight to the death: 50 Cent unarmed or the Hanson brothers wielding Swiss army knives?

NOTE: 50 can steal any/all of the knives and use them.

Thanks to Chris T and phottto for the ipost.

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Kaitlyn 43p · 872 weeks ago

Have you seen Hanson lately? Totally hot. They would surely win when legions of their screaming fans come to their aid. On the other hand, The Hanson Brothers might have a tougher time of it; they would just chuck the knives at him and then whack him to death with hockey sticks.

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mb · 872 weeks ago

Isn't 50 Cent a cat or something? Hasn't he been shot and killed nearly 7 times already? He just won't die. I don't care how terrible a fighter he may be or how hot the Hansons are now, it's tough to kill a cat. Hanson would just get worn out and 50 Cent would just not lose.

My prediction: pain.

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Jordan 57p · 872 weeks ago

If we are going with the idea that fans can help, I'm pretty certain that puts Hanson at an even more severe disadvantage, not necessarily because of numbers, but due to sheer fire power. I think it's safe to say 50's fans are more likely to pack heat. So, I think we have to leave the fans out.

Plus, you can't make up weapons that aren't part of the question!

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phottto · 872 weeks ago

upon the start of the fight, 50 cent would go directly for the smallest and weakest hanson and risk getting cut and stabbed by the other 2. 50 would take the swiss army knife away from the little hanson (while being attacked as viciously as possible by former teeny boppers), kill the little hanson, and then kill the remaining members with his newly acquired weapon.
and then after killing all 3 hanson brothers, he would eat them.
with tabisco sauce.
ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst.

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Jordan 57p · 872 weeks ago

I think my vote is going to have to be conditional. If any of the knives are large/long enough to deal a fatal blow in one strike, then I'm going to have to go with the Hanson brothers as long as they can coordinate their attack as well as they arrange those sweet harmonies. Bubble-gum pop sensibility + 8" Swiss army knife w/ blood gutter (don't think those exist) = Serious damage.

If the knives are just little 4" guys, Hanson has no chance. 50 Cent will take each of the knives 1 by 1, break them, then party like it's your birthday all over Hanson's faces. He don't give a fuck, it's not their birthday!

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Tum Tum · 872 weeks ago

Knowing what we do about suburban white boys, it's safe to assume the Hansons have been training for something like this their whole lives. My guess is that they are up to snuff on the latest martial art trends and are prepared to surprise anyone, even 50 Cent.

I mean, have you seen 3 Ninjas? http://youtube.com/watch?v=fyyejWKpqE8

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mb · 872 weeks ago

I agree with Tum Tum, but for different reasons. Hanson might mmmBop 50 Cent on the head just hard enough to knock his ass out.

Special guest appearance: VANILLA ICE (the guy who can bridge the gap between the musical stylings in the shittiest way possible, of course)

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Hannah 48p · 872 weeks ago

50 would steal the Hanson's Swiss Army knives and cut all their hair off. Then the Hanson Brothers would cry. End of fight.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Old School Celebrity Death Match

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