Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I should have said THAT!

Have you ever had a confrontation with someone (perhaps an ex-friend, a rude stranger, a trash-talking hobo who was an ex-friend) that you somehow left unfinished? You didn't get to throw in that last-second dagger or were too dumbfounded to talk?

Now's your chance. upost an explanation of the situation and then what you would have said/done if a) you thought of it in the moment, b) it been socially acceptable, c) you had bigger balls/ovaries, etc.

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this fat woman was pushing me from behind at kenmore station last night. so i turned around and politely said to her, "please stop pushing me." she did not believe this to be true, and wanted me to know that, "i'm not fuckin pushing you so shut the fuck up"

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what i wish i had said in return:
"ok... when you learn how to read, move out of the trailer park, and stop fuckin your brother, then you can talk to me."
I got double charged at the Harvest Co-Op the other day for some cheese and I brought the receipt back to get my money refunded. The guy handed me the (untouched) receipt back and apologized for the error.

What I did: threw the receipt away and left with my cash.

What I could have/should have done had I not felt loyal to the small market: Kept the receipt and come back in a week to do the same thing. Repeat indefinitely until I've got all the free cheese and Tasty Bites I can stomach.
1 reply · active less than 1 minute ago
Why do you hate America?
Like Jack in Fight Club, I practice my speeches before I approach the Marlas of my life. And usually I end up not covering all the ground I want to.

What I said:
It's me, not you.

What I should have said:
You are a selfish, entitled cow. I never liked you. I had nothing better to do and then I just felt guilty. I am not a disappointment; your expectations are unrealistic.

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